He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
