fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
