I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
