She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
