you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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