You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
