O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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