took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So squirting runs in the family.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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