My girlfriend figured out who you are.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
