So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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