Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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