Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
