I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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