Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
