what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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