Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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