But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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