whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
