Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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