the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
