I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
