I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
did i just pee glitter
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
