Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
