That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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