Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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