I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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