walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
try to milk me bitch
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
