Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
