Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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