Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
