i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
