In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
