I wanna bring you to show and tell
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
