I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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