D3 body, D1 cock
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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