this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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