He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
