All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Oh god it's open bar.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
