That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
