We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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