he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
