oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i've created a new STD.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
