its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
