Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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