she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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