It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
