I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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