alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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