I am spending my child support on dildos
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
