Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize