I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
