It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
