fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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