I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He better not be in your backpack
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
