he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
COCAINE IS GR8
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