I am puke
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
